Monday, April 6, 2009

Resurrection Clothes

My children wore their Easter clothes to a funeral today. Resurrection clothes, I guess. Plaid and flowers hand in hands we munched over stodgy spring grass up a neat sidewalk to the funeral home. Inside my children's wide eyes absorbed black ornate rugs, soft and deep as quicksand, solemn faces, and I suppose, the knees of a lot of suits. Janie carried our handwritten card as a matter of rank. Jack held my hand.

With friends and relations we marked the passing of a friend of a dear friend. While people shared, I realized the shadow of this man was far greater than the man himself. I was struck by the indelible mark he's left on lives close to him. Funny, if the lighting is right, we are so much more than the sum of our parts. Isn't influence like this, a shadow cast far out beyond our feeble attempts at greatness. It's almost as if it sneaks up on us, piled up in small gestures, simple moments around a table passing the potatoes and carrying on about deadlines and raises and dessert. Suddenly before we know it, there behind us is a shadow quotient of all those days ironed out in a perfect silhouette of character. I was honored to come today with my kids.

I savored up mismatched moments of Jack and Jane racing over the front lawn, a flurry of watercolor blue and chestnut brown tangled in a game of tag. Race to sidewalk, race to Momma, lob a Cheerio in Lulie's mouth, refrain from tagging to the ground. Base! One of them grabs my leg.

In the end I left, shadows trailing behind. Each day I pray my face will be warmed by the light of my Savior that my shadow may rise up and honor all it touches.


  1. This post is just lovely. Bethany.

    My recent experience with death challenged me to recognize and fully appreciate those close to me now, in the moment. Shower each other with the love that He so freely sprinkles on us each day...

  2. More than the sum of our parts-- yes, yes, the way faith mends our paltry sum of works.

    What a pleasure to have your children there--experiencing the life and the death, learing to negotiate all of life even at their young age. Fearless.

  3. Isn't it funny how death is the thing that makes us think about life the most? Life is just SO. SHORT. It seems impossible that my little life will matter at all in the big picture. I'd feel so lost if I didn't know that I'm serving such a big God who can tie us all together to do his thing. I have hope - for death and for my life.

    Thanks for your comment today. Glad that you're feeling better :)

    I'm still thinking and researching the LDS thing. My next topic is going to be the LDS teachings on Heaven. It's just so big though - feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. You know - that grain of sand feeling. Every time I have quiet time with Him though, my mind starts to drift to the LDS topic at hand. I'm still going to do it. I just have to pray and fight through the discouragement.

    You'd like another SLR article? I'd be happy to write one - any particular topic?

    Thanks again for commenting, Bethany. I always love to hear from you :)

  4. Bethany ~ Your life touches mine. And I am HONORED.

    Love you.