Showing posts with label Surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Surgery. Show all posts

Monday, July 31, 2017

Myra





"I'm actually LIKING learning to read," Myra says. From my pillowed beachhead, sprawled horizontal, right foot propped on a pillow tower, I nod, my neck corralled in a quarter of it's normal movement.

"Hmmm," I say.

"It gradually gets funner and funner and FUNNER." She grins as if seeing a sunset, her shoulders risen as to push, push, push the corners of her smile up the white acres of her face.







"Hm," I say.

"Joe is going to reeeeeally like it when he learns to read," she chirps, red hair in curlicue staccatos around arching eyebrows and blue eyes.

Beached in leg surgery's long recovery, I smile the slow long drawling smile that unrolls quietly like afternoon sun, like all the warm comfort of laying in these slow moments.

"You just have to decides to like it, then it gets really fun," she says.

"Yup," I say. She flops on the bed, book in hand, and narrates my recovery in slow and savory sentences.









Gratitude:

6223. The children make me breakfast each day after surgery -- fried potatoes, fried garden beans, fresh peas and tomatoes, pour-over coffee and my usual granola on the side.

6224. Four of the children get the flu. They rest far enough away that I stay well.







6225. Craig leaves for camp one day post-op and we fare just fine what with all the delicious food and hours and hours of beloved audio books, the children scattered on or around the bed, sunlight rolling through the window like the river at flood stage.

6226. Just as the kids begin to fatigue in the kitchen, a friend brings us a meal. Another friend offers another meal if we need. Such comfort and kind care in the body of Christ.

6227 Joe plays me countless games of Uno.







6228. Dear friends barbecue burgers and make an old fashioned picnic for our family. We talk all things literature and politics, history and the repeating of history. We nod. Yup. So many things to memorize and take note, bear witness.
6229. Jack receives a new cookbook. Illustrations bloom across the pages, vibrant art.

6230. A new salad bowl finds its way to our home. I christen it with chocolate chip cookies, a new recipe. Blissful results.

6231. We round the two thirds mark in an extensive biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.







6232. I turn 39. The perfect day to turn 39, the children give me bouquets of handmade gifts. Craig, and I take an afternoon date. He barbecues two chickens for us. We glide into the evening slow and easy.

6233. I get a polkadot skirt.

6234. I practice the discipline of patience. An antidote. I hold it like an unruly child in my arms until when I least expect it, I find peace resting quietly on my shoulder.

6235. I look deeply into the eyes of my children, pause my reckless work to memorize their faces, and hold still, just stop. So many good moments, they run through my fingers like water.







6236. The kitchen remodel begun, disorder and broken routines, I set myself to be the inventor of good memories in this new set.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Convalescing From Surgery





"Mom," Myra says, "if you let Betsy have your hair, she's gonna be like ripping it out of your head." She blinks all seriousness. "She does that to my big hair," she strokes a red puff of hair then grins headlong into my eyes.

***

"If the plants die, Momma" Joey says, "they turn into tomatoes." He nods with that same assumptive air, then tilts hie head and nods sideways.

***





"Grrr," I groan. "Grr," I fumble with a water glass and try to smoosh an ant loping just above the couch edge. "Grr, it ran away."

"Yeah," Joe nods. "That is so sad. I was gonna smash it for you." He inhales and forms a sigh that he releases in protective fashion.

"When it comes back up you can get it," I say.







"Yeah, I will squish it really hard," He pinches his fingers together. "Or put it in a web," he says.

"Oh," I say.

"Right over here," he says. He points to a remote corner by the back door.

"Ah," I say. Relegated to the couch, I nod. Recovery is slow, but couch life is a constant drip of intel. I listen and watch and take it all in: our life, our good, good life.









Gratitude:

5484. The second surgery, though more painful, seems to be a success.

5485. I learn how truly grateful I am for work. Being still is almost agonizing. The world slows unimaginably.

5486. Myra brings me her blankie.

5487. "I could snuggle with you forever," Jack says.

5487. Lucy kisses my cheek. "I love you," she whispers.







5488. The children move to my beck and call (mostly). They move to fill the gaps. From the microscope of the couch I note children's attitudes that we address and fine tune.

5489. Fresh raspberries.

5490. Browned butter shortbread.

5491. Pizza and salad.

5492. The Dishman Hills Bookclub.







5493. I note a nearly invisible flaw in the blanket I'm knitting and resolve myself to love it anyway.

5494. The garden burgeons with growth despite my absence from it's rows.

5495. I bow my head in gratitude that I get to have this surgery.

5496. I learn to see my children through a new lens. Their personalities crystallize under observation.

5497. We arise in a new week ever more aware that God is GOOD.



Sunday, February 17, 2013

Myra





"You know how to drive." Myra nods to me. I pull a down jacket over my shoulders and kneel to fasten buttons on her neon yellow sweater. She pokes willowy fingers through a button hole, tugs the button through.

"Yeah," I nod. She nods back. We nod in unison. Blink. "Do you?"

"Yeah," she mimics head still bobbing. "I do." She blinks. "But I don't." She blinks again. "I can't drive, but I can turn the fan on."

"The fan in the car?"







"Yeah." She fiddles the last button through, pulls the sweater down 'round her waist. "I have to go poopy," she adds. "I want you to flop me on the toilet."

"Flop you on the toilet?"

"Yeah," she nods again as if adjudicating a piano recital. "Don't let my head go in," she warns. I make my eyes round like hers and watch the words tumble out. "Don't let my arms go in either."

We hit the bathrooms and head out.

"That car is HEAVY," she remarks as we board the suburban. "Suckers are STICKY," she says as we depart down the driveway. "Faster, faster, faster -- drive, drive," she lilts. "Cars can hurt my fingers when I get out, " she continues. "Then I go to sleep for a long time, long time, long time and then my owie gets off, and I can take the band-aid off."







Christmas music croons and Myra joins in, "and heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing." She knows most of the words. I never noticed in December. "Glory to the King," she chirps. We bump-bump over a parking lot ramp. "That's a heavy part," she evaluates.

We follow the familiar route of grocery chocolate and warm steamer. She picks vanilla.

At a small bistro table she bustles handfuls of baby peanut butter cups to her mouth. She piles them on the little plastic lid and loopty-doopty pops them in her mouth one after another.

"I'm not gettin' it on my shirt," she reassures. "I'm not puttin' my lips on my shirt." She jabs the yellow sweater, "Right here."

I flip the receipt over and scratch out the crossbars of tic-tac-toe. We take turns. She's dots. I'm exes. She makes her eyes perfect round irises, full blue marbles, when I say, "No, I can go there," and jab the corner quadrant. "You don't have a dot there so I actually can go there." Still she practically cheers when I win.







Midday ebbs; afternoon eases in. We gather the remains of chocolate, tepid steamer, rumpled receipt and lollygag to the car.

And then we're home, ascended the driveway, parked. "Myra," I say, "I have an important question for you. And I want you to REALLY think about it." I twist around in my seat, look my eyes into hers. "Myra, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

In time with conversation, hardly a pause, "Jesus," she says.

"Jesus?" I say, "What about Jesus?"

"Jesus be in my heart." She measures out the words with the sure gait of an executive officer.

Jesus be in my heart. In the small frame of an almost three year old we rough in the walls of the future.

Jesus be in my heart.









Gratitude:

4125. "Want to open your mouth and close your eyes?" Lucy asks and them plops an orange slice in my mouth.

4126. "Jesus, I'm naughty. Please die for me and live in my heart." Myra's prayer.

4127. "If I get hurt, I'll wake up Joe," Myra predicts her glass fluttering scream.







4128. To the woman I love with all my heart. As always I give all my love to you. Craig rubber-bands his love note to chocolate bars and garden seeds.

4129. He tolls in the final hours of Valentine's Day belly-down on the hardwoods, elbow deep in the bowels of the washing machine. All that wrestling and he pins a victory: new drain pump fully operational. An avalanche of laundry awaits.

4130. Lavender athletic jersey, hobo mitts and all soft, my running clothes become my regular clothes.

4131. Sweet Rockie's surgery goes well. She awakes and blusters, "Holy smokes!" all drowsy and surreal. I memorize her two year old sweetness gathered in pillows and tucked under a soft quilt, arms crossed.







4132. We round-up with family on the farm. Roast and potatoes, salad and green beans, it's a feast.

4133. I knit the first nine inches of Joey's monkey sweater.

4134. We circle up for sign language and laugh and whittle away an afternoon.

4135. "My favorite person," Lucy lilts, "is standing there: the girl in the green coat." I smile green coat zipped up under my chin.

4136."Those are SPICY." Myra motions to a pile of orange peels. "Don't eat that," she says.







4137. The three older kids go to a local GOLF show with Craig. They return with complimentary kids' clubs. Myra assesses the clubs and turns to me. "Are we gonna go to the DOG show?"

4138. Cousins send us valentines.

4139. The kids dig last years crop of carrots. Sweet, crisp candy.

4140. A flight to the ER for sis-in-law-Rose and we get the news: It's pneumonia. 3.5 liters of fluids by IV, a load of antibiotics and she's cleared to recover at home.

4141. Friends invite us to lunch after church.







4142. I stop in a local bookshop and the owner visits with me long past closing. I take note of her kindness.

4143. Pizza night.

4144. "Yeah, let's don't pick our nose," Myra wipes her nose. "That's ICKY."

4145. Another week lands in our laps somehow seamlessly woven despite my many flaws.









Monday, January 25, 2010

The Management





"I don't know where it came from," she says, "but I put it on my face like make-up." Glitter, it's good for almost anything.

In other news, dilating drops smell like violets AND so do my hands. You'd think I'd be a pro after a modest 47 drops of various sorts in the last five days, haha. I also placed and removed Lulie's new contact lens four times today. Yay! It's clumsy but hey, we're doin' it! :) Since I'm on a roll as amateur med student I also super-glued my left index finger after a bad encounter with the bread knife. Worked GREAT.

{sigh}

Another good day.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunglasses





Dilated pupils do have benefits.






Momma and Dad buy you SUNGLASSES!






Think she likes them? They'll be dilated for six weeks.





Now, tomorrow we get a contact lens and this precious eye will be fully operational. Hard to believe it's totally blind right now!





Patching will be a breeze after this!

***

Jack grabs Lulie's hands, "Are you singing for joy for me, Lulie?" She giggles. He off. She sings a jumble of ABC's and runs after him.

The world is still simple.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The OR





"Jesus love me, this I know," I sing the words.

A nurse with white skin and pink cheeks administers sleeping gas. It's a mask, but Lucy doesn't mind. Her eyes flutter. She waves an arm. I hold her small pudgy hand and lean close. "Yes, Jesus loves me - - yes," the chorus encircles us. She's asleep and still I sing out the last words.

So many blue gowns and each one waits. And still I sing. All the perfection of a surgeon's team, the intersection of man and science, microscopes and scalpels that make 1mm incisions, precision, and still, they wait for my song's end. An unexpected reverence.

"Can I kiss her cheek?"

"Yes, you may."

Another nurse whisks me away. I feel as though we walk on water.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Post-Op




Before surgery.





Waiting to leave.





Relatively un-phased by the whole thing.





Sweetie.




Waking up. Slow. Post-op.




Ready for food again.


{Sigh} Thank-you, LORD!

First thing, our surgeon said the cataract was much bigger than expected once he opened the eye. It's amazing she could see so well. The Lord is good. Thank-you for your love and prayers. Now contacts and patching and grace. Day by day. Thanks.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Surgery





So, it's a go.

Tomorrow. Wednesday.

Check-in 7:15 am. Surgery 9:00.





Would ya'll mind praying?





Lord, if you are willing, I know you can heal me.





A grand request.

A grand God.





Here we go.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Change of Plans





The surgeon's office called. His favorite assistant for cataract removal is GONE this Wednesday. Sooo, surgery is canceled. We're waiting a week. Now, the big day is January 20. Don't you just love a surgeon who makes everything perfect for a delicate procedure? AND, turns out he performs this particular surgery almost every week. A practiced hand, what a gift.

So, what sort of questions should I make sure to ask before the big day? I feel like I should know, but haven't got a clue. I guess there are the obvious, like when she can last eat or drink, but other than that I'm sort of floundering. Any friendly advice?