Sunday, December 20, 2015

A Circle

"You should draw a circle around it," Craig says.

"I don't want to," I say, phone cradled to my ear. I look at a sore on my hand, shake my head. "I want to look pretty tonight and not have a big black circle on my hand," I say.

"Well, if you want to know for sure if it's getting worse..." he says.

"I know," I say, "I just don't want to." Coffee in the microwave, I flick the door closed and press 30 seconds.

"Ok, well..." he says.

We visit over loose ends, Christmas party planning. The timer beeps. I grab my coffee, hang up the phone.

"You'll always be pretty," Jack says. He taps my elbow, silent eavesdropper.

"Aw, thanks Jack," I say.

"No, seriously," he says. "You'll ALWAYS be pretty."

I stop, slow to look right into his eyes. "Thanks, honey."

"And even if you weren't," he shakes his head, "you'd still be pretty on the inside, and that's what really counts."

"That's true," I say. "That's what God cares about."

"That's what God sees," he says.

I carry his words inside, like a banner. I bend my identity around them, the truth. And I feel a tiny wave of shame at implying true beauty is so fragile.


5695. The birth of our savior, Christ the Lord -- we celebrate with my family. God's gift encircles us.


  1. Aw, sweet boy :)
    Your family is getting so grown up! What a darling baby! I've missed coming here. God bless you all.

  2. Where does beauty reside....we think of it like a bird that occasionally lands on us and if we hold our mouths just right it stays for a moment. There should be another name for Beauty inside. Beauty inside seems to intersect our very fiber calling back to God His goodness. This resonance, reflection, allows for standing in awe of beauty without marring it with the interjection of pride. Yup. we need a different word for that.