"You can't force people," Jane says. Her long curls shawled around thin shoulders, she sketches.
Exercises. Each child practices. Jane and Jack sketch. Lucy pounds scales. Myra holds Betsy. Joe recites fragments of Ozymandias as he balances breakfast dishes to the kitchen. Enveloped in morning work, world politics intersect conversation. A presidential debate, and Jane's tracing free will beyond beyond chores, beyond theology.
We review the contenders, but her main question: Why don't people DO what's right?
You can't force people.
"It's like a lot of things with Christ," I say, "he just presents the truth and lets us choose." I sip my coffee. "He never forces us." I say. The washer lud-thuds in the background. Jane zigs a few zags on bumpy line of zigzags. Encircled in the navy stripes of her shirt, she chews the idea.
"It's like truthfulness is it's own defense," she says.
"Huh, yup," I say. She hardly looks up. Three quarter length sleeves and navy stripes, I watch her
Truthfulness is it's own defense. And it's own antidote. Speak it at any time and freedom will follow.
We slip the idea into our pocket like a smooth stone and carry on.
5660. "If you want to play Trouble, Momma, I will," Joe says, "Do you want to play Trouble?" he says. Yes. Yes, I do.
5661. "Just a minute," I say. "One minute is like A THOUSAND minutes," he says.
5662. I discover migraines are a possible side effect of the vein procedure I had. At least I'm not so worried about the headaches I've been having.
5663. Thrift store finds, clothes for Jane, the backing for a quilt.
5664. Fresh shampoo, vitamins, and medicine.
5665. A new belt for Craig, black, simple, perfect.
5666. We learn to make pizza as a family and make it every night for a week.
5667. "Why does our conscience lead us with fear?" Jane asks me. "Because it is afraid of what we might lose." I say. "It steers us from evil, but it's God's goodness that draws us to him."
5668. Betsy starts calling me MOMMA, loud, clear, and with expressive eyebrows.
5669. "Mom, look how big of muscles I have," Joe says, his arms contorted in an almost flex.
5670. I make a new counter cleaner that smells just like a lemon San Pelligrino.
5671. I finally throw out the last garden bouquet, dried to a crisp, brownish on the countertop.
5672. Joe accidentally crushes half a carton of eggs in an unfortunate fall "helping" Myra make eggs for me.
5673. We find baby blue cowboy boots second hand. Jane and I share them.
5674. I continue to turn to the great grace and mercy in Christ. Perfect love -- this miracle encircles me.