Thursday, February 18, 2010
"Momma," Janie tilts a mess of curls to one side, "do you know for sure we're gonna turn out to be good guys?"
Good guys. She pictures Daddy and me. I pause, reach for another slice of bread, spread out peanut butter to the corners. I remember how I lugged Lulie out of the pantry a week ago, peeled back her pretty eyelid frantic to find a tiny contact lens, how I combed the house with a flashlight and my bad eyes. I looked and looked and sobbed, shouted for everyone to get their jammies on already. The invisible lens takes a month to replace. I can still feel the sinus headache I had when we left for the doctor the next day.
And even so, Lulie passed the vision test, with the wrong contact. Passed.
I wonder if I passed my test. Of faith.
Children learn foremost by passive observation. Ken Ortiz's words ring in my ears, take my breath away.